Single Women Worldwide Devastated!!
Sexually frustrated women worldwide had their issues compounded yesterday when new research by the National Academy of Sciences revealed that shower heads can shoot a bacteria blast containing such menacing microbes as Mycobacterium avium and other germs known as non-tuberculosis mycobacteria. Sally Anne Nelson, from Denver, Colorado had this to say: “I’ve been using my shower head ever since my last boyfriend gave me an STD. But non-tuberculosis mycobacteria? Jesus. Suddenly the clap doesn’t sound so bad.” Jenna Sartosky of Cleveland, OH was more vocal in voicing her disappointment: “Every f__ing time I find something that gets me off it has a drip. First my ex-husband, and now my flexible shower head.” Sales of vibrators are expected to skyrocket putting an end to the recent trend of “dophin-free tuna.”
No word on whether Delta Faucets and Trojan will partner in the near future or if Massengill will launch a new Penicillin Persimmon Douche to combat the threat…
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