Hollywood, CA – Despite a recent spat of sexually charged public appearances, teen queen diva Miley Cyrus will not be retiring her wholesome alter ego, Hannah Montana, anytime soon she reports on her Twitter page. Dirty old men wishing to split her like a piece of firewood were thrilled to hear the news.
58 year-old divorcee Lee Harvey Jackson, standing in front of his trailer, wearing a “Hit Me Baby One More Time” T-shirt and sipping High Life from a Punky Brewster thermos offered the following morsel of enlightenment, “If they don’t want us objectifyin’ her, maybe they shouldn’t paint her up like a dime store hooker and put her on a stripper pole on national TV. If no one wanted to do it there wouldn’t be a law against it now would there??”
Miley’s dad Billy Ray was unavailable for comment due to a prior commitment: induction into the Mullet Hall of Fame.
